Week Six Activity
Problem: Kids getting exposed to media through their friends
Michael has done a good job of limiting his 10-year old’s use of media and technology to age-appropriate content. They have clear house rules and good communication about media and technology at home. Michael’s son came to him one day to tell him that he was watching videos on how to use a vape at his best friend’s house. What should Michael do?
My Child was Exposed to Inappropriate Media Content through their Friends!
Kids use media and technology in many different places - at home, at school, and at friends’ houses. It is good for parents to be proactive by talking with kids about rules around media and technology use at home and at other places. It’s also good to set expectations with other parents for what your house rules are related to media and technology. The more clear you can be, the easier it is for other parents to follow those rules as well. While you can’t control all that your child experiences, you can invest in good communication with them to help them stay open and honest with you.
Problem: Kids of varying ages in the home
Tanesha is finding it difficult to balance what media she allows her 16-year-old to watch/use versus what she allows her 10-year-old to watch/use. The 10-year-old is regularly trying to co-view more mature movies and TV shows with the older sibling. Tanesha is frustrated, because she is trying to monitor both kids, but she also wants to give her older child age-appropriate freedom around some media use. What should she do?
My Older Child’s Media and Technology Use is Impacting my Younger Child!
The balance of good media parenting also involves allowing your child to have age-appropriate freedom. As kids get older, they need the opportunity to practice safety skills and problem-solving skills on their own. If you have children of different ages in the home, here are a few tips that can help you navigate different age-related rules.
- Set specific times of day for older kids to engage in media and technology use when younger kids are either in bed or doing other activities.
- Work with your older children to set up ways to ensure their ability to use media and technology without impacting younger siblings. Encourage them to serve as good models for their younger siblings and to be mindful of what they are doing with media and technology when younger siblings are around.
- Have a family discussion about specific rules for each child. Make it clear that as kids get older, they will earn more privileges - but this only happens if they follow the rules for their current age.
Problem: Kids know more than parents about media and technology
Sarah has given her 14-year old daughter permission to use TikTok, but she actually doesn’t really understand what TikTok is or how to monitor it. She has done a good job of asking her daughter to share with her what she does on TikTok with her friends, and she also follows her account to monitor what she is doing. Unfortunately, Sarah just discovered that her daughter also has 3 other hidden TikTok accounts where she is posting inappropriate content. She feels very overwhelmed, and doesn’t know how to best keep her daughter safe online. What can she do?
My Child Knows More About Media & Technology Than I Do!
Sometimes it can feel overwhelming to try to keep up with our children and the digital tools they are using. We can work to stay connected by using resources provided through Common Sense Media like this one:
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/free-online-tools-for-getting-started-with-tech
You can also let your child “be the expert” and have them teach you about different tools they are using. This is a great way to give your child feelings of mastery while also keeping an eye on what mature content they might be exposed to online!
Problem: Children have different rules with different caregivers
Beth and Andrew have been divorced for a few years. They agree on most things when it comes to parenting their 10-year-old, but Beth tends to be way more lenient with technology. She allows unrestricted technology usage at home, while Andrew would prefer to set limits on screen time at both houses. What should they do?
I Don’t Agree with the Other Adults in My Child’s Life About Media Parenting!
It can be really difficult to get on the same page with other caregivers in your child’s life around media parenting - especially when family values related to technology are different. Start the conversation about what values are important to both sides.
Once you have come to an understanding of each other’s values, you can then set up a plan for how you will jointly approach media issues across settings. We recommend completing the Family Media Plan from the AAP with ALL caregivers in the child’s life.